Creep of the Week: National Organization for Marriage

By D'Anne Witkowski

National Organization for Marriage

Oh, NOM. NOM, NOM, NOM. You are so freaked out right now. And if you weren't so hateful, I might actually feel some compassion for you. Though probably not. Because you are terrible in every way.

I've made NOM my Creep of the Week many times over the years. And some of you may be thinking, "Come on. It's just too easy. Like shooting fish in a barrel." But I would never shoot fish. For one thing, I do not eat fish and wish them no harm. For another, even if I did eat fish, shooting them seems like a really ineffective way to procure dinner. And another thing: how did they get into that barrel? There are just so many questions.

NOM is frequently called out in this column not just because it is easy for me, but because they have become a sort of clearing house for creeps.

You would think, too, that no politician or public figure in their right mind would board NOM's sinking ship, what with polls showing a majority support for marriage equality in this country. Not to mention the expected Supreme Court ruling in favor of equality that's supposed to come any day now.

But NOM is hard at work trying to wrangle Republican candidates for president to sign an "I Promise to Hate the Gays and Make their Lives Hell" pledge.

It's a five point pledge, as Think Progress reports. First, candidates have to support a constitutional amendment damning marriage equality and promise to appoint anti-gay judges to thwart whatever pro-gay thing the Supreme Court may do. They also have to trash all the LGBT protections that pesky Obama put in place. Candidates have to be totally gay for a "religious freedom" bill that would allow anti-gay discrimination in the name of Jesus. And the Justice Department would need to stop looking into "anti-LGBT discrimination" (as if that's a thing) and focus on the much more pressing issue of flower shops being forced to make bouquets for dykes.

The pledge is like a look back in time, really; a sort of hate-filled time capsule. Only some Republicans who are running for president in 2015, not 2005, will probably sign it. Or else, warns NOM President Brian Brown.

"Our hope is that as many candidates as possible sign, but at the end of the day what we want is a champion for marriage, someone who will stand up and do what is necessary to protect it," Brown told CNN. "So whether we end up having four candidates or 15, we are going to support the candidates that stand up and sign the pledge."

The GOP field is full of loons who are more than happy to make hurting LGBT people part of their platform. According to Think Progress, Ted Cruz, Scott Walker, Rick Santorum, Bobby Jindal, Ben Carson, Mike Huckabee, Rick Perry and Marco Rubio have at some point said that they're cool with a Federal Marriage Amendment. Never mind that the issue makes most Americans yawn at this point.

"Republicans need to not just give lip service to marriage," Brown told CNN. "By signing the pledge they are committing to concrete steps to protect marriage."

By signing the pledge they're actually making clear how desperate they are for support from the far-right fringe and how out of touch they are with the majority of the country. So, you know, good luck with that.

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